i need a fix

[ARIANA JACQUELINE PIERCE]

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[attr="class","sera-table"]open

[attr="class","sera-table"]1030

[attr="class","sera-table"]- -

[attr="class","sera-table"]outfit

[attr="class","sera-lyrics"]when the world is weighin' down on me

[attr="class","sera-subtext"]I pop a top, I take a shot, I drop a pill

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[attr="class","sera-content"]Over two months of living in Ellisville and Ariana still felt like she was in a foreign place when she woke up in the mornings. She thought the move would be temporary, and that things would get better with her mom quickly, but that wasn't what happened. Instead Ariana was finding herself about to start school in the small town that felt foreign even though she had spent two months out of the year there every year since she was born. In the mornings, Ariana would get up and feel like her whole life had been turned upside down as she looked around the white room with very little decoration. All she had done was put up one picture from cheerleading on the dresser and the other picture on the other side of the dresser of her mom and step-dad from the previous summer when things were still good. This was the only decoration in the room, even after three months.

As her feet dropped to the ground Ariana felt the fur of the kitten she had found in the barn a week earlier rubbing up against her feet. Ariana wasn't sure what she was doing with her morning, but she figured she should finally get out of bed when the clock hit eight in the morning, because she knew with school starting she shouldn't get used to sleeping too late. She also knew the impression she'd made on her uncle since she got to town, and it was not the greatest after the morning she claimed to be getting coffee when she was really just getting home. This morning she really was going to get up and walk down the road to the coffee shop for breakfast, and try to spend her day like she was a normal part of the town she was supposed to be calling her home.

Having stayed in the night before, Ariana had showered and done her hair so it fell perfectly straight before going to bed, so when she woke up all she had to do was brush her teeth and change into clothes before leaving the house. The nice thing about being in a small town was that people never seemed to be as dressed up as they did when she was in Nashville. Sure, they didn't look bad, but they didn't look like they were wearing overpriced jeans, and they didn't wear heels or wedges all the time like they thought those were the only shoes around. As much as Ariana liked to complain about the town, being able to throw on denim shorts a tank top and converse to go get coffee in the morning was nice. It made her morning easier, so all that was left was carefully applying some mascara so she would look decent enough for whatever people saw her while she was out.

Looking at herself in the mirror Ariana tried to talk herself up to dealing with the day. Today, I am going to go out and act like a normal person. I am going to smile and tell people I'm happy to get closer to my relatives and am enjoying the town. I will say all this, because it is what people want to hear from me. Ariana knew how sad this would sound to someone if they heard it out loud, but since getting to Ellisville, all she had felt was out of place. While she'd made some friends and gone out to parties, she still felt like the people around her saw her as fascinating, so they kept her around. They didn't care about getting to know her. People just thought it was fun to have a girl not from the town around, because she was so easily surprised by things sometimes when they differed from her life back in Nashville.

Ariana finally tore her eyes from the mirror, grabbing her purse from her dresser and beginning to head out of her room, stepping lightly as she went down the stairs and out the front door. At the moment she was without a car, because her uncle had a problem with her BMW from her step-father, and her mother hadn't done as she promised and sent her money to go to Birmingham to buy one, so Ariana found herself walking toward the coffee shop in the center of the town. It was still kind of early, so not too many people were out, but Ariana didn't mind the quietness. It was a break for her. If people were her age, they were fascinated by someone new, while if people were adults, they may have known her mother and wonder how she's doing.

It didn't take long before Ariana found herself walking into the small coffee shop to be greeted by the smell of the coffee beans and the pastries she saw in the case. The young brunette began to fumble through her purse looking for a credit card as she approached the counter to order, wondering if she should try to order anything more interesting than black coffee, but choosing not to as she came to a stop. "Good morning. What can we get started for you?" Ariana could feel how fake the girl working was, but she didn't mind, because she knew she would probably feel the same way in that situation.

"Just a large black coffee and an ice water," Ariana waited for a moment while the girl turned around to make the coffee before handing over the credit card. She couldn't decide if it was going to be better to sit there or to walk back home and hide in her room so she wouldn't have to spend time with her family.

In just a matter of seconds Ariana had her coffee in her hand and was walking over to where another counter had sugar and cream, setting the cups down there. Beginning to try to pour some nonfat milk into her cup, Ariana discovered the container to be empty, turning to ask them to refill it when she knocked over her cup and spill the majority of it's contents across the counter. Flustered Ariana turned back, picking up the cup and looking down disappointed in the mess she had made.

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[AUDRINA ALISON STARKS]

Audrina got up shortly before her aunt left for work with her dog. She said goodbye, and wanted to pet Glory goodbye but didn’t because she had her harness on already. After they left, she made plain scrambled eggs for breakfast, and also had some strawberries and water on the side. While she was eating, she found herself having a strange craving for green tea. She rarely had tea, and she did not love it, but she liked it when she did. She thought of looking for some at the grocery store, next time she went shopping, but then she remembered that they did not have a tea kettle.

She knew where the coffee shop was, so she decided to walk there and buy some. It was a semi long walk, and she started to wish that she had ridden her bicycle instead, but it was nice out and she had time. On her way she thought about how her first day of high school was coming up, and that was kind of scary. She hoped that she and Harley would have classes together.

Eventually she arrived. She walked in and got in line. Ahead of her, she saw someone who she recognized from a picture that Harley had found online and shown her. It was the half-sister, Ariana Pierce. She was nervous about being around her. She did not have a problem with the girl, but she knew that her friend hated the idea of her existence.

She did not understand why, and had tried to tell her about how wonderful having a sister had been for her, before the world had stolen her from her. Harley insisted that this was not the same, and Audrina knew that she was right about that at least. She still did not understand why she was so upset. Maybe it was that she represented that fact that her father had been with another women before her mother.

She went up to the counter, and ordered her small cup of green tea. After she paid for her drink, she picked it up and turned to head to a table. She saw Ariana spill her coffee all over the counter. She could not just ignore this. She turned around and looked at the employee at the counter. “A little help over there,” she said, pointing. She walked over to the counter, set her drink down, grabbed some napkins, and proceeded to help clean it up.

Tag: ARIANA JACQUELINE PIERCE

[ARIANA JACQUELINE PIERCE]

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[attr="class","sera-table"]AUDRINA ALISON STARKS

[attr="class","sera-table"]684

[attr="class","sera-table"]- -

[attr="class","sera-table"]outfit

[attr="class","sera-lyrics"]when the world is weighin' down on me

[attr="class","sera-subtext"]I pop a top, I take a shot, I drop a pill

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[attr="class","sera-content"]Already a novelty from being from Nashville, Ariana now felt she could safely consider herself to be a complete klutz after this disaster. With the way people talked in the town, she knew even something as small as spilling her coffee that morning would make it through the town quickly, and possibly somehow bubble into something else. She knew the way the small town worked. She was spilling coffee one morning, so there had to be something else going on with her. Maybe they would think she was still drunk from the night before, because that's what a girl from a bigger city would do. Ariana knew all of the possible ways people would think of her, just because she wasn't from the small town where her mother grew up. She also knew how they would compare her to her mother. Her mother got pregnant in high school and ran off to Nashville to escape and never come back, only accepting help from her brother because she needed some time away from her daughter once in a while. Ariana never truly understood her mother or her mother's decisions. She knew her mother wanted to get away from the town, but not why she wanted to get away, and she knew her mother worked a lot, but she did not fully understand why her mother would feel the need to send her off to stay with her uncle every year.

Ariana's frustration played clearly across her face as her eyes searched for napkins to being to clean up the mess in front of her. It came as a surprise when someone offered to help. Yes, Nashville also had southern hospitality, and people might help, but she had been in similar situations where no one would help at all, or the person who made the mess would just walk away and leave it, acting as if nothing had happened. The help from the slightly younger blonde girl was a welcome surprise to Ariana, who hadn't expected help from anyone, including the employees of the small shop. She figured she would be able to get enough cleaned up so that she wasn't leaving a complete mess, and then maybe she could get another cup of coffee to replace the one that was now empty that she had intended to drink originally.

"Thanks," Ariana offered her gratitude to the girl as the two continued to attempt to clean up the mess she had made when she was simply trying to put some milk in her coffee. Ariana was still frustrated, mostly with herself for making the mess, but also a little with the shop, since they had run out of nonfat milk for her to put in her coffee. People didn't drink nonfat milk in Alabama was Ariana's assumption, since they seemed to be out of it a lot when she was getting her coffee in the small shop.

Ariana couldn't even get coffee in the town like she would at home. It was another sign in her mind that she should not be in the town in the first place, because at home it was easy for her to go to Starbucks, get her venti black coffee with skim milk, and be on her way in just a short amount of time. In Ellisville though, she now found herself trying to save her coffee from dripping on the ground and making even more of a mess than she already had.

"I can't believe I could manage to make such a mess out of just trying to come get a cup of coffee this morning," Ariana spoke, trying to just make casual conversation as she soaked up the coffee with napkins. The girl looked familiar, but she knew that could just mean she'd seen her around town a few different times, which was common in a town of this size. Everyone saw and knew each other. Ariana had probably at some point in her life, although she was only in the town for two months out of the year, that had been for every year in her life.

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[AUDRINA ALISON STARKS]

“You’re welcome,” she told her, with a slight smile. As they continued cleaning up, she wondered if a coffee shop employee to come, excuse them, and finish cleaning it up. It was not happening, although they hadn’t made the mess and two people were already cleaning it up. There had been a couple of instances, over the years, in which Audrina or her aunt would spill something in a restaurant, and her aunt would respond by calling over an employee and telling them to clean it up, saying that that’s what they were paid for. Audrina thought it might be easier and nicer to just clean it up, although she did have an easier time cleaning up messes then her aunt did.

Audrina’s plan to avoid the girl had obviously not worked out, and it was her own fault. She had offered to help clean it up without really thinking. She wondered if something was wrong with her that caused her to automatically offer to help. She had done it before to, although not with someone who she was trying to avoid. Was there such a thing as being too nice? She wondered if she should tell Harley that she had had some interaction with Ariana, or just keep it too herself.

“Well everyone makes a mess every once in a while,” she replied, when the older girl commented on her having made a mess. They finished cleaning up, and they threw the soaked napkins away. She stepped out on the way for other people to use the counter, and found she standing a bit closer to Ariana now. She turned and got a better look at her, and felt like she had seen her around town at some point, although she was not sure where.

She figured that she should probably introduce herself. “Hi,” she said, remembering that she was not supposed to know her name already. “I’m Audrina.” She held out her hand for a shake. She knew that hand shaking was a little old fashioned, but she liked the gesture. Mainly she liked the not intending to hurt each other meaning behind it, even if most people in modern day did not carry weapons.

She wondered if Ariana would have to buy a whole new coffee. It looked that way. Her and her aunt had gotten free refills after spilling stuff before, although it had been a few years. People would probably have less sympathy for a teenage girl then then would for some kid and a blind women, as annoying as that was.

Tag: ARIANA JACQUELINE PIERCE

[ARIANA JACQUELINE PIERCE]

[attr="class","sera-image"]

[attr="class","sera-notes"]

[attr="class","sera-table"]AUDRINA ALISON STARKS

[attr="class","sera-table"]769

[attr="class","sera-table"]- -

[attr="class","sera-table"]outfit

[attr="class","sera-lyrics"]when the world is weighin' down on me

[attr="class","sera-subtext"]I pop a top, I take a shot, I drop a pill

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[attr="class","sera-content"]Ariana kept thinking someone from the shop could come over and help the two girls clean the mess up, but it was clear that was not going to happen. Ariana thought that it should be a normal part of service that even if a customer spilled something, the employees would help. It wasn't like she had done it intentionally or that they weren't getting paid if they stepped out from behind the counter to help a paying customer. Ariana was not one to complain though, because she knew nothing would come from complaining in a situation like this. Maybe she would get some help cleaning up the mess, but people around her would find her obnoxious, and she didn't need negative attention, as she got enough various attention from people. Some thought she was fascinating because she was new, while others thought she thought she was better than them, since she was from a bigger city, with more to it than a small town like Ellisville. It wasn't that she thought she was better than them, but instead Ariana just missed her old life in Nashville. She missed having more to do around her, and having a car, which was apparently too nice to drive in this city, so her mother made her leave it at home.

"I guess, it's just a little frustrating when it happens," Ariana didn't like it when she made a mess of things like this. If anything she was too much of a perfectionist about things like this. She didn't like it when a single thing wasn't going how she thought it should. Maybe it was because her mother had lived such an unpredictable life when she was growing up. Her mother didn't have a reliable job when she was young, went through many boyfriends, and this was why Ariana didn't like it when things didn't keep going in the right direction for her, even the small things like spilling her cup of coffee.

The blonde girl seemed like she was truly being nice, and not just trying to find out what was so wrong with the mayor's niece that they had to ship her off to Ellisville from Nashville. This was what she assumed most people spoke to her for.

"Ariana," Ariana responded to the other girl introduce herself and reaching out to return the handshake. It was something few people did anymore, but Ariana found it to be a kind gesture. Friendly. Something someone who was just looking for information wouldn't take the time to do when talking to her. "It's nice to meet you," Ariana offered her own gesture of wishing to be kind. Ariana was the kind of person who didn't dislike people unless they did something to her, or someone she cared about. Sometimes she would seem standoffish, but it was more of a defense mechanism.

"I guess I'm going to have to get a whole new coffee now that I messed this whole thing up," Ariana's frustration was clear across her face as she looked over to the counter. She was considering seeing if she could get a free drink. Sometimes people were kind when they saw someone who had made a mistake, especially when that person was kind enough to actually clean up the mess she had made.

"If you'll excuse me for just a moment," Ariana requested as she turned to the counter to test her luck. She just wanted her coffee for the morning, and while she wouldn't get mad at the coffee shop, since it had been her fault.

"Excuse me," Ariana addressed the girl behind the counter. "I'm so sorry, but I managed to spill my coffee and make a mess. I was wondering if there was any way I could get another one," Ariana offered a genuine smile as she spoke, hoping her sincerity would get her another free large coffee. "Of course," came the response Ariana was looking for. Southern hospitality never seemed to never fail for her.

"I guess they appreciated that we actually took the time to clean up the spill, because I have been plenty of places where they would never give a girl like me a free drink after that mess," Ariana returned to Audrina, unsure if the other girl was just being nice by introducing herself earlier or if she would actually stay and chat for a minute. Her uncle had been telling her how she needed to get out there and make actual friends instead of just going to parties on the weekends and driving her cousin crazy by asking him to cover for her.

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[AUDRINA ALISON STARKS]

“Yeah,” she agreed. “It is.” She felt kind of bad thinking it, although she always did feel bad whenever it happened to other people, but Audrina was glad that it had not been her who had made the mess. Making messes in public was embarrassing, and she was glad that she had not ended up doing so in a while, and hoped that the next time she did so would be a long time from now.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” she replied, after she had introduced herself. While Ariana went back, Audrina picked up her tea and took a long sip of it. She leaned against the counter and observed Ariana’s interaction with the girl behind the counter. She smiled when the girl gave Ariana a replacement coffee. She determined that the employees who currently staffed this shop were not lousy employees, like her initial impression had been. It seemed to her that sometimes first impressions were spot on, and other times were completely wrong.

She sometimes feared that maybe she shouldn’t watch other people, which was a strange hobby of hers, even though the people she watched were always in public. Nobody who she was ever watched ever seemed to care, but they never seemed to notice either.
Ariana came back and spoke to her. Audrina nodded, not remembering ever being the girl who they would never give a free drink to, and being grateful for that, but remembering having witnessed it happening to other people.

 
She knew that she was lucky in some ways, even if she was very unlucky in other ways. She tried to be grateful, or at least be more grateful then she felt sorry for herself. Most of the time she could, sometimes even fairly easily, and other times she could not. It was hard.

Tag: ARIANA JACQUELINE PIERCE

(Sorry it took me so long to get to this reply. I've been very busy with school lately.)

[ARIANA JACQUELINE PIERCE]

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[attr="class","sera-table"]AUDRINA ALISON STARKS

[attr="class","sera-table"]588

[attr="class","sera-table"]- -

[attr="class","sera-table"]outfit

[attr="class","sera-lyrics"]when the world is weighin' down on me

[attr="class","sera-subtext"]I pop a top, I take a shot, I drop a pill

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[attr="class","sera-content"]This time Ariana chose not to even bother with adding milk to her coffee, fearing she would once again make the mistake of spilling it all over the place to begin the cycle of cleaning it up, then getting yet another coffee. Of course Ariana knew the likelihood of the same thing happening again to be low, but she was not going to miss the caffeine she was about to consume. Not that she had woken up so early that she needed to caffeine to stay awake, but Ariana felt like when she didn't have caffeine she was dragging all day. Ariana assumed she had grown dependent the caffeine to get her through her day, since she began drinking coffee at the age of thirteen every morning before going to school, but anyone else would point out that this was not normal for a high school junior to need coffee just to make it through a normal day. People rarely pitied the young girl. At home in Nashville, from the time her mom got married to her step-father, she was seen as the spoiled rich girl. She went to a private school where during the first week of school there was an accident with 6 cars, and most of them were luxury cars. In Nashville, no one felt bad for her, but Ellisville was different. In the small town people felt bad for her because while she didn't speak openly about it, they knew something was going on with her family, and this meant people pitied her. They didn't automatically see a spoiled rich girl like people did when she was back in the place she called home.

For the first time in her life, Ariana found herself unsure of what she was supposed to do in a social situation. She felt like she should make an effort to get to know the girl, because she didn't have any friends in the area, and she knew she needed to appear to have an actual life. Her current life consisted of spending her weekdays around the house, and the weekends going to parties she would hear about from her few acquaintances in order to seem like she wasn't completely miserable in the town. Ariana liked to think she would be happier in Nashville, but in the back of her mind she knew things were not going so well there over the past year. Ariana had slowly grown distant from her boyfriend, and her friends, and spent more of her time going out than doing anything else.

While in some instances Ariana could talk to a wall, she didn't know what else to say in this moment. She didn't want to seem like she wasn't going to put in any effort to get to know the people in the town better, but something inside her just felt anxious a lot of the time in the town, like people were watching her. Yes, she came from a family who had been around since the town was founded, and her uncle was the mayor, but Ariana didn't want extra attention from it. She just wanted to fit in as normal and popular like she had been back home.

"Thanks for helping with the mess. Of course the free coffee is nice, but someone who works here could have come over so you didn't get stuck helping with it," Ariana commented, taking the first sip of her coffee, almost burning her tongue, but it was worth it for the caffeine she was consuming.

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[AUDRINA ALISON STARKS]

“You’re welcome,” she replied. “I agree. I thought somebody who works here would come and takeover, but nobody did. I guess they saw us cleaning it up and decided not to bother, but at least they replaced your coffee.”

Audrina was unsure if she should excuse herself or keep talking to the girl. Which one she would prefer to do was something that she was unsure about. Ariana seemed nice, but it was a bit awkward talking to her since she knew who she was. What Ariana wanted to do, she had no way of knowing. She thought of asking, but that seemed like an awkward question, so she didn’t. She waited to see what Ariana would do.

Audrina did not talk to people who she had never spoken to before, unless they had been introduced to her by another person or by themselves. This situation was different, as they probably would not have spoken to each other if Audrina had not come up to Ariana and offered to help clean up the mess. She could not figure out why she had done that. She wanted to think that she had just been being nice, but she had not been thinking about being nice at the time. She had not thought about why she was doing it at all.

Audrina often thought about her own behavior and tried to figure it out. Sometimes she could make sense of it, and sometimes she could not. Right now, she could not. She did not have any better or worse luck when she observed and thought about the behavior of other people. She did not feel like she was bad at this, but she did not feel like she was good at this either. She had been told that she was better at this than most people and should keep it up.